You probably know someone who has been to Italy. And you’ve probably heard all about how beautiful the country is, and an infinite list of reasons why you should visit it. Well, for a change, we’ve come up with a list of 22 reasons as to why you SHOULDN’T visit Italy:
1. So, the Amalfi Coast… Just the thought of hiking those seaside paths along the coast is enough to make you tired. Not even the enchanting pastel coloured fishing villages clinging to the dramatic cliffs are enough to convince you to go through such effort! Too exhausting.
2. Luckily a large portion of the coast is quite rocky, the perfect excuse to avoid them. But still, it’s worth noting that if the thought of soaking up the sun makes your sweat, avoid the Marche region at all costs. Its beautiful beaches are preached about throughout Italy, like this one at the foot of Mount Conero in Ancona, known as the Riviera de Conero. Next!
3. You are not interested in charming medieval towns like Bologna. Who cares if it’s home to the world’s most venerable and oldest university in continuous operation?
4. Don’t trust a country that is home to Europe’s largest active volcano, Mount Etna. Life is exciting enough without the thought of lava fountains nearby.
5. The cultural history in Italy tries too hard to be number one. For example, nearly a third of the world’s art treasures reside in Florence. It’s like… calm down!
6. Don’t get us started on the landscapes. The terrain changes so much and is so colourful that it just gets boring. For example, whoever tries to convince you to see Cinque Terre’s natural beauty, just ignore them… Yes, it’s listed as a UNESCO World Heritage Site. And?
7. Why would you want to travel all the way to Lake Como, a lake that has been a popular retreat for aristocrats and famous people? Its jaw-dropping beauty, scenic towns and the amazing waterside villas don’t cut it. Well, it did for George Clooney maybe. And perhaps even Brad Pitt… but what do they know?
8. Shopping at the most exclusive and elegant avenues? In Milan you can get tired of seeing one renowned designer brand after the other. And we won’t even get started on the alternative designer labels or off-beat fashion brands. Too weird and too much effort.
9. In Naples, you’ll visit one ancient castle after another, big deal…Makes you wonder why Royals and Emperors even needed such big homes.
10. In Italy, all the cities are legendary, every single one of them. Making it difficult to plan your holidays, which is just a pain. Padua for example, claims to be the oldest city in northern Italy. Like anyone would believe it was founded around 1.183 BC!
11. Savona is simply ugly.
12. And don’t be thinking that Siena, Italy’s loveliest medieval city, is any better!
13. Food? Anyone can make pizza or pasta these days. And in Genoa, for example, make sure you stay away from the “delicious” focaccia. Sure its origins are based there but… Nah.
14. Oh, and yeah, it’s full of people who find pleasure in eating in the middle of the street. Avoid Sicily’s capital, Palermo. They are surprisingly proud of being one of the world’s top destinations for street food.
15. And in Taormina, on the other of Sicily, locals eat a semi-frozen dessert called granita that comes in numerous “wonderful” flavours. Semi-frozen? Isn’t that just semi-melted?
16. The wine is not that special, not even the ones produced in Trento, where winemaking has taken place for over 3.000 years. And have you seen the landscapes? That Don’t Impress Me Much.
17. Italian coffee, with a view of Mount Vesuvius in Naples? Not good enough, the coffee or the views.
18. And Turin has been considered the chocolate Heart of Europe since the 17th century. Something about an unpronounceable treat called Gianduja. And don’t trust a country who serves tiny chocolates with coffee. The temptation to the Darkside is not a good thing, people!
19. Back to Italy’s legacy. Old buildings are in bad shape and tend to sink! Take the leaning tower of Pisa as an example.
20. Cracked mosaics, faded paintings and pictures made out of stones. It’s what they call art. Seems that’s all they knew how to do in Ravenna during Byzantine times.
21. While in Rome, everything looks the same, valuable architectural monuments everywhere. Too generic for our liking.
22.And then there’s Venice, with all its canals. Aside from the chatter of people, there is no traffic so there is little pollution or sounds If anything, it just leaves you feeling isolated and really miss home! Plus, you would be jealous of all the magnificent houses you’ll see.
Actually, come to think of it, this and everything else we’ve mentioned might make you NOT want to leave Italy…